February-March in Denmark

February in Denmark

It took too long to make this post because February was one of the hardest months I’ve had in a while. The ache of being away from my wife became more acute. Delays in my project at work stole my enthusiasm. The cold grey sat brooding, sapping my optimism. My joy in the thriving church I found faded as I saw the blemishes and it became simply a place to connect with friends (extremely important, but not everything). Worst of all, it was too windy to cast a fly. It’s tough to see the silver lining from inside the cloud.

What did I learn? Much: to drop the custom of assuming high mutual respect, to not think too highly of myself, to speak up at the right time (not before, not after), and most important- to dig deep for the real well of joy rather than letting circumstances drag down my mood and influence my behavior. The realization that my situation was impacting my attitude challenged my faith in Biblical truths and myself. I have long believed that following Christ is the best way to live and is filled with a joy that cannot be stolen. To live this out is tougher than I previously understood, but now I know it’s true. As my prayer become more real and my choices of how to live each day took hold, my perspective picked up and I found that as I renewed my belief in God, God also believed in me and gave me new opportunities. Like the adage shared among fraternity pledges: “that was the best experience I never want to have again.”

Thanksgiving at Easter

A few years ago one of my best mentors invited me to understand strategy in a new way. He asked me why I thought he did certain things, gave me insight before and after he held meetings, and uncovered elements of our strategic direction that he intentionally did not share with most people. This exposed two simple revelations: there is much more strategy all around than we realize and we can be more strategic in daily activities to achieve more. I feel like God exposed different perspectives of this idea this week. Since January, adapting to new things and separation from many basic joys stretched me more than I anticipated, and many things I was looking forward to didn’t turn out as I had hoped. The week I just spent at home was a bright oasis from the cold grey. Prayers for humility and spiritual preparation for living a missional life were answered like a band-aid pulled off too slowly.

My losses have been temporary and even as I sat jetlagged in Copenhagen’s Kalstrup airport listening to Aaron Copland with black coffee and enduring a seven-hour layover, I realized I brought a bit of sunshine back with me. I left 80 degree weather to find it too cold to sit outside here even wrapped in my coat, though after my little retreat I have renewed confidence and vision. I understand why God let me feel lonely and weak as I learned to lean on Him more, and I can now feel gratitude for the experience.